So now we've googled all Sound of Music lyrics....
GREETINGS FROM CHIANG MAI!!!
I wonder if you knew we were here.... probably not.... but possibly maybe.... we're travellers doncha know. we could go anywhere we choose.
So, what have these crazy gap year tragedies been up to? THE ANSWER: loads. Which on the one hand is GREAT, but absolutely arse paining as we have to write it all out for you muggles (just watched harry potter. oh yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhh)
In the last month there has been lots of exams, a motorcycle crash (nothing to do with us) lots of graduation parties (well... one), a very drunken Kozue, lots of hanging out, lots of tears (olivia...), lots of laughs and a LOT of goodbyes. And a six hour bus ride. And the odd tattoo....
Oh and a thai communist nightclub.
We want to keep this post within a reasonable length, we are lazy. We did wake up at 2pm today an proceed to congratulate ourselves on doing so and then have a fit when harry potter was on. IT WASN'T EVEN DUBBED GUYS.
So around abouts 2 weeks in the past, there were exams and a very uneasy feeling of tension that took us both back to our exam taking days which we had hoped were so firmly in the past. Exam week FLEW by.... possibly because we did absolutely NOTHING. But a fun sorta nothing. Not the sorta nothing that drags on and on.... and on and on... and then on. And then some more.
Un petit drama happened when 3 of the students were involved in a motorcyclin' crash and the other party ended up in hospital (oh hospital... we know it well....). The boys had run from the scene (a biiiiiiiiiiiiiit of a no-no in thighland) as only 1 of them had a thai ID card as the others were from camp. Consequentially (ooooh long word) the 2 not-so-happy campers spent a few nights in jail and we were really upset as we thought we may never see them again because often the thai police just lock 'em up for days and weeks and months and days. BUT WE DID. keep your knickers on.
The following week was pahooosibly the funnest and the saddest. Especialmente for Emmett who was leaving after 2 years at the school. After a really fun graduation party on the Sunday (22nd) we followed Kozue's exceptional lead and had many a alcoholic beverage and stormtroopered the boys' rooms for a night of absolute awesomeness and merriment. The photos will provide the evidence. Oh and olivia made friendship bracelets for everyone which took approximately days and days and half of them are already lost (apparently only two....BAH!) They were....pretty? Olivia got one from Bosco which made her little life complete. (Dear Ed, olivia's boobs have grown. You're welcome. Love Rosa.)
Then we did a lot of things for the last time.... last waterfall, last movie night, last rice-eating (THANK YOU BUDDHA - look how culturally aware we are. it's a beautiful thing. unlike us.)
... last everything! It was so sad. We also had our last sup at Salween and took along two of the students to experience their first burger!!! It was a sight to be seen and we educated them in ketchup application. Ahhhhh good times....
If you're eating breakfast then look away.... actually don't because we really want some breakfast and thusly we really envy you and therefore hope that you proceed to vomit everywhere at the following..... que/queue/quuuee/kew/CYUE\\\ GOT IT - CUE serious gap year tragedy moment....
We feel really lucky to have made such amazing friends aand to have had such an interesting and fun-filled time in Nai Soi and we're going to miss it lots and lots and then a little bit more.
Though our time flew by and it seems like we've only just got off the plane.... we also feel like it was our home! We're going to miss Otto. Which, honestly, we weren't sure we would at the beginning.... SORRY OTTIE BABY.
Our last hurrah was our tattoos which are, in our humble opinions (and we are now so very, very humble. it would be hard to find ones so humbled as us.) TOTALLY AWESOME DUUUUUDE.
Rosa got the Thai kings face tattooed onto her back. It's ironic. (But don't ask me what his name is.... - Rosa) whilst olivia settled for the less ironic baby cockroach that now nestles in her cleavage. Tasteful.
ONWARDS AND UPWARDS, we took the 6 heure bus ride from Mae Hong Son (oh....memories...) to Chiang Mai which was preeeeeetty turbulent as it was the most twisty, windy road through the jungle. But we got through it with the aid of about 7 chuppa-chups each (lime flavour is a must-try....sarsly.)
Al momento, we are uploading lots of photos which is proving rather time consuming but we will tell you of our Chiang Mai adventures whence we have had the time to have any!
(although small taster - we went to a thai communist nightclub..... let your imaginations ROAM)
All our much less constipated and slightly cleaner love,
OLIVIA AND ROSA
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Saturday, 28 March 2009
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
A tad fragile.....
OH THE NEGLECT the blog has experienced. This sounds like we care. We don't.... maybe we should..... yet.... we don't. Such is the cruel life of Burmese refugees.
So, we hear you think, what have these crazy ladies been up to in the past.... 2 weeks??? 2 weeks and a day????
WELL FOLKS, we didn't get murdered. In fact, no one else got murdered and de-intestined. As far as we know. And we would know. We're the eyes and ears of this jungle.
A long, long time ago in a land far far away (and much hotter than where you are)...
HOKAI, so..... in a time long, long ago (on a weekend before the 3rd of March. the one closest to then. not just ANY old weekend before the 3rd of March)
SO, a long long time ago, we went into Mae Hong Son for the weekend. Standardly.
We wandered, we meandered, we trawled, we traipsed and generally walked everywhere very, very slowly. BUT we ate. OH BOY did we eat.
After an apple overload, we hit up the 7/11 (really a 24/7... which is a shop. it has airconditioning and pepsi-max. lots and lots of wonderous pepsi max)
Here we decided to be a lil' adventurous with our dinner and proceeded to purchase several vanilla yoghurts and several packets of cereal (consisting offfff Corn Flakes, Frosties and Choco Crisps). Our plan being to mix said ingredients in a location of our chosing. Which we did. Although our location was not really one fit for us queens and we ended up munching next to some rabid dogs on a bench by a lake. As if we didn't get enough odd looks before.....
Thehehehehen, the following dia. It be sunday, we did..... bugger all really. That we can remember of. Probably stole some things. Shot some people. The norm.
ALTHOUGH we did go to Salween (you know, the restaurant. The one with the blind dog and the bread????) and had our baked sweet patatas that we had been yearning for. A treat followed by... probably not so much a treat as a punishment... the Carling Cup Final. Oh yes people. We followed the mighty Spurs as they went to Wembley (wemberleyyyyy - wemberleyyyyyyy - we're the mighty tottenhamhotspur and we're going to wemberleyyyyy). No input from Ed required or Rosa (Heyyyyy) will proceed to make sure Olivia finds a really amazingly fit and buff Australian surfer. YA GET ME.
After much knee biting and muttered swear words, we headed back to our crib (yee blad). It was 1.00am. WAHEY past our bedtime.
A long, long time ago that followed the last one. So a slightly less long, long time ago...
Another week at school.
Taught some lessons. Stole some things. Shot some people. Had a power cut for a few days, the main result of which was that we went to bed horrifically early....
HOWEVER, we do feel we should inform you of some of our pupils. They all hold a special place in our hearts.... just some more than others. Ain't ya ever heard of teachers pets?
So. Let us begin. We're not sure where to begin. For these are love stories so rare.
But we will try, in the crudest way possible.
Best friend (sometimes a bit more): Beh Reh
Lover: Bosco (Olive), Similai (Rosa)
Husband and father of children: Leudu.
And we decided La Aung can be our neighbour. Who we will bake with. And will fix things for us. Possibly do the shopping every now and then and probably cut our hair. Obviously.
These revelations of the hearts have put somewhat of a strain on our "professional" approach to teaching and we can think of no better way to illustrate this than with a short tale of... humiliation and love.... the two oft seem to go hand in hand wouldn't you agreeeee...
Bosco was in Camp at hospital. He is short by the way. VEHERY short. But, to be fair, TOTALLY RIPPED. And very cool. But so's Similai. And he's taller. And they both spit very loudly.... it's the "done thing".. this fact makes it no less disgusting however.
But ANYWAY, Bosco jumped off a bike and so was in hospital whereupon when Livi was teaching her Class 2 lesson, she was asked "Teacher, do you miss Bosco?". The answer was yes. But they are SO onto her. Which is not altogether that suprising.... given the aforementioned teachers behaviour, LET'S BE HONEST.
So that week of a long, long time ago which also happened to be last week, just flew by in a blur of candles and classroom games.... which is ver VER VER sad as our play of love, courage and bravery approaches it's final act.....
Last weekend
We walked up a mountain with Naw-Naw. We love him. But he doesn't make the cut for our love story.... more of a Quasi-Modo. We want more of a King Tritan.
It was very steep. It was very hot. And we found it suprising how one never considers the "going down" part which, incidentally, usually turns out to be the hardest part. We feared certain death. Thankfully certain death feared us more.
Next we jetted ourselves into Mae to the Hong to the Son whereupon we recieved OUR PARCELS!!!! It was like christmas only better. All jokes aside, best day of our lives (except for all the other days which were better.)
We inhaled our sweets. This made us feel very ill and very fat. We didn't care.
Then it was time for......drum roll please.... ROSA'S BI-WEEKLY SHOWER!!!!
(Olivia- which is FUCKING gross considering she goes for runs EVERY MORNING. plus a bout of aerobics AND....its hot here. AND we share a bed. I think i have said enough.)
(Rosa - Now is not a time to be precious. Or, seemingly, clean.)
And so we trotted off to Janis's (aka Otto) birthday parrrrrrrrrrrty which was just of the hook. There was a harmonica.
(and also the Sunderland vs Spurs game) Returneth we to school after said festivities with a VERY drunken Boris. We took advantage of his state by drawing all over his face. Main focus on the eyebrows. We figured this would be the hardest to remove when said drunkeness had worn off. We WILL BE VICTORIOUS. Like Queen Victoria. She hated the French too. Though don't quote us. DrunkBoris also decided it would be tres amusant to scare the bejeebies out of us by sneaking into our room in the dead of night which inspired a lot of screaming and the near collapse of our trusted mosquito net.
Once more, we declare, WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS. And plans for a most terrifying revenge are already in motion (in our heads. Suggestions appreciated. Dead snakes already thought of.)
So Sunday. The day of rest. But since when have we done things by the book??
Good news and bad news. Teacher Boris left (hooray) and took his oranges (boo). Very mean spirited.
We had a littttttttle mishap involving our motorcyle. But we are both fine. We repeat parents: we are both fine.
Except for the HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE gash up olive's leg and rosa's inability to sit down. The biggest problem is the sheer humiliation we experienced upon our return to school. All the students had heard and proceeded to mimic our falling action (rosa's wasn't exactly the most graceful nor the most ladylike). A mocking that continues and is set to continue until we wave farewell to the little shits. Emmett also got the runs that day. Ha.
So ladies, gentlemen and those who are still deciding, what is happening at the momento.
Well this week is revision week as exams are next week. Exams are followed by graduation on the 22nd which is the end of school!!!! We're going to be so so sad to leave everyone so we're trying not to think about that too much at present and spend as much time with everyone as possible. Then WHO KNOWS what the future holds...
actually, we do. So there.
Our previous plans to teach Huay Pu Keng for a month have some what afllen through due to the pupils COMPLETE lack of wanting to be taught. and the fact that it's their summer holidays. So we shall frequent their little village for a week of fun, games, no electricity, no food, certain death and sweltering heat. Oh, and mosquitos. Lots and lots of them.
Hope all's well in Blighty.... could we PERLEASE have some more comments?
At least pretend you love us.
(note to Rosa's family - I will excuse you from comment leaving if you are to start up my allowance again. Only then would any lack of commenting be accepted.)
LOTS OF still constipqted love:::::: oh rubbish ive done so,ething to this co,piuter:::::: OH NQQQQQQQQQOOOO/
zoops:
i szeqr i q, typing this qll correctly::::::::
LOVE OLIVIQ QND ROSQ
XXXXXXXXX
So, we hear you think, what have these crazy ladies been up to in the past.... 2 weeks??? 2 weeks and a day????
WELL FOLKS, we didn't get murdered. In fact, no one else got murdered and de-intestined. As far as we know. And we would know. We're the eyes and ears of this jungle.
A long, long time ago in a land far far away (and much hotter than where you are)...
HOKAI, so..... in a time long, long ago (on a weekend before the 3rd of March. the one closest to then. not just ANY old weekend before the 3rd of March)
SO, a long long time ago, we went into Mae Hong Son for the weekend. Standardly.
We wandered, we meandered, we trawled, we traipsed and generally walked everywhere very, very slowly. BUT we ate. OH BOY did we eat.
After an apple overload, we hit up the 7/11 (really a 24/7... which is a shop. it has airconditioning and pepsi-max. lots and lots of wonderous pepsi max)
Here we decided to be a lil' adventurous with our dinner and proceeded to purchase several vanilla yoghurts and several packets of cereal (consisting offfff Corn Flakes, Frosties and Choco Crisps). Our plan being to mix said ingredients in a location of our chosing. Which we did. Although our location was not really one fit for us queens and we ended up munching next to some rabid dogs on a bench by a lake. As if we didn't get enough odd looks before.....
Thehehehehen, the following dia. It be sunday, we did..... bugger all really. That we can remember of. Probably stole some things. Shot some people. The norm.
ALTHOUGH we did go to Salween (you know, the restaurant. The one with the blind dog and the bread????) and had our baked sweet patatas that we had been yearning for. A treat followed by... probably not so much a treat as a punishment... the Carling Cup Final. Oh yes people. We followed the mighty Spurs as they went to Wembley (wemberleyyyyy - wemberleyyyyyyy - we're the mighty tottenhamhotspur and we're going to wemberleyyyyy). No input from Ed required or Rosa (Heyyyyy) will proceed to make sure Olivia finds a really amazingly fit and buff Australian surfer. YA GET ME.
After much knee biting and muttered swear words, we headed back to our crib (yee blad). It was 1.00am. WAHEY past our bedtime.
A long, long time ago that followed the last one. So a slightly less long, long time ago...
Another week at school.
Taught some lessons. Stole some things. Shot some people. Had a power cut for a few days, the main result of which was that we went to bed horrifically early....
HOWEVER, we do feel we should inform you of some of our pupils. They all hold a special place in our hearts.... just some more than others. Ain't ya ever heard of teachers pets?
So. Let us begin. We're not sure where to begin. For these are love stories so rare.
But we will try, in the crudest way possible.
Best friend (sometimes a bit more): Beh Reh
Lover: Bosco (Olive), Similai (Rosa)
Husband and father of children: Leudu.
And we decided La Aung can be our neighbour. Who we will bake with. And will fix things for us. Possibly do the shopping every now and then and probably cut our hair. Obviously.
These revelations of the hearts have put somewhat of a strain on our "professional" approach to teaching and we can think of no better way to illustrate this than with a short tale of... humiliation and love.... the two oft seem to go hand in hand wouldn't you agreeeee...
Bosco was in Camp at hospital. He is short by the way. VEHERY short. But, to be fair, TOTALLY RIPPED. And very cool. But so's Similai. And he's taller. And they both spit very loudly.... it's the "done thing".. this fact makes it no less disgusting however.
But ANYWAY, Bosco jumped off a bike and so was in hospital whereupon when Livi was teaching her Class 2 lesson, she was asked "Teacher, do you miss Bosco?". The answer was yes. But they are SO onto her. Which is not altogether that suprising.... given the aforementioned teachers behaviour, LET'S BE HONEST.
So that week of a long, long time ago which also happened to be last week, just flew by in a blur of candles and classroom games.... which is ver VER VER sad as our play of love, courage and bravery approaches it's final act.....
Last weekend
We walked up a mountain with Naw-Naw. We love him. But he doesn't make the cut for our love story.... more of a Quasi-Modo. We want more of a King Tritan.
It was very steep. It was very hot. And we found it suprising how one never considers the "going down" part which, incidentally, usually turns out to be the hardest part. We feared certain death. Thankfully certain death feared us more.
Next we jetted ourselves into Mae to the Hong to the Son whereupon we recieved OUR PARCELS!!!! It was like christmas only better. All jokes aside, best day of our lives (except for all the other days which were better.)
We inhaled our sweets. This made us feel very ill and very fat. We didn't care.
Then it was time for......drum roll please.... ROSA'S BI-WEEKLY SHOWER!!!!
(Olivia- which is FUCKING gross considering she goes for runs EVERY MORNING. plus a bout of aerobics AND....its hot here. AND we share a bed. I think i have said enough.)
(Rosa - Now is not a time to be precious. Or, seemingly, clean.)
And so we trotted off to Janis's (aka Otto) birthday parrrrrrrrrrrty which was just of the hook. There was a harmonica.
(and also the Sunderland vs Spurs game) Returneth we to school after said festivities with a VERY drunken Boris. We took advantage of his state by drawing all over his face. Main focus on the eyebrows. We figured this would be the hardest to remove when said drunkeness had worn off. We WILL BE VICTORIOUS. Like Queen Victoria. She hated the French too. Though don't quote us. DrunkBoris also decided it would be tres amusant to scare the bejeebies out of us by sneaking into our room in the dead of night which inspired a lot of screaming and the near collapse of our trusted mosquito net.
Once more, we declare, WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS. And plans for a most terrifying revenge are already in motion (in our heads. Suggestions appreciated. Dead snakes already thought of.)
So Sunday. The day of rest. But since when have we done things by the book??
Good news and bad news. Teacher Boris left (hooray) and took his oranges (boo). Very mean spirited.
We had a littttttttle mishap involving our motorcyle. But we are both fine. We repeat parents: we are both fine.
Except for the HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE gash up olive's leg and rosa's inability to sit down. The biggest problem is the sheer humiliation we experienced upon our return to school. All the students had heard and proceeded to mimic our falling action (rosa's wasn't exactly the most graceful nor the most ladylike). A mocking that continues and is set to continue until we wave farewell to the little shits. Emmett also got the runs that day. Ha.
So ladies, gentlemen and those who are still deciding, what is happening at the momento.
Well this week is revision week as exams are next week. Exams are followed by graduation on the 22nd which is the end of school!!!! We're going to be so so sad to leave everyone so we're trying not to think about that too much at present and spend as much time with everyone as possible. Then WHO KNOWS what the future holds...
actually, we do. So there.
Our previous plans to teach Huay Pu Keng for a month have some what afllen through due to the pupils COMPLETE lack of wanting to be taught. and the fact that it's their summer holidays. So we shall frequent their little village for a week of fun, games, no electricity, no food, certain death and sweltering heat. Oh, and mosquitos. Lots and lots of them.
Hope all's well in Blighty.... could we PERLEASE have some more comments?
At least pretend you love us.
(note to Rosa's family - I will excuse you from comment leaving if you are to start up my allowance again. Only then would any lack of commenting be accepted.)
LOTS OF still constipqted love:::::: oh rubbish ive done so,ething to this co,piuter:::::: OH NQQQQQQQQQOOOO/
zoops:
i szeqr i q, typing this qll correctly::::::::
LOVE OLIVIQ QND ROSQ
XXXXXXXXX
Sunday, 1 March 2009
Nai Soi Porn.
Hello all.
As promised, although slightly/rather/VERY late. HERE ARE OUR PHOTOS.
Go to www.flickr.com/photos/justnoodlesandrice for a full on visual and sensual experience of our travels so far.
DO IT.
we dare ya!
xxx
As promised, although slightly/rather/VERY late. HERE ARE OUR PHOTOS.
Go to www.flickr.com/photos/justnoodlesandrice for a full on visual and sensual experience of our travels so far.
DO IT.
we dare ya!
xxx
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Murder, we write.
WELL WE'RE HAVING QUITE THE TRAVESTY OVER IN NAI SOI NOW AREN'T WE.
Where do we begin.....
A MOIDERER IS ON THE LOOSE IN OUR OWN BACK JUNGLE.
And he be not just ANY moiderer. He is a girl slaying, intestinal eating, police evading kind of a murderer.
We now realise we may have alarmed the elders amongst us (sarah powell hits the big 5-2 this year after all....HI MUMMY... never looked better..)
So we will proceed with our little story telling...
Here we sit, trembling in our flip flops not knowing when, but knowing EXACTLY how, we will meet our bloody, gruesome end. It's rather exciting really.
OTHER NEWS on our long, exhausting agenda... let us once more begin at the beginning (of last week. DER.)
Friday of Yorn (23rd)
OH WHAT A DAY.
We woke up, rats a squeaking, pupils a spitting, rice a waiting. OH HARK! what is this we hear?!
It is the definate and unmistakable sound of a childs scream. We weren't quite sure how to react... turn up the ol' ipod....? assume, with glee, that lessons have been cancelled due to a death amongst pupils...? (that's not funny. people are dying through intestinal ravaging as we type)
MORE SLAUGHTER. but, regrettably, not of children. it was of some pigs. that was nice.... although we didn't even get any fucking pork for dinner. what the....'ell?
OH and on this friday of yornish pig death, we had another cinematic experience akin to the friday of double yorn... this time we got Quantum of Solace. In our humble opinions, it was a decent action movie but we spasmed over the one single shot of London, rain and council estates falling heavy and standing tall and were oh-so proud (we really were...actually...sarcasm aside) to show off our city to the kiddies who seemed LESS that impressed. it was sad.
OH AND BEFORE WE FORGET... Rosa woke up with rrrrrrather iffy movement of the old bowelies (sphinxy wasn't being kind mummy/tommy - rosa) which ended up on my (olive-groves) foot mid plunge.
------Interjection from the culprit: REALLY, it was both of our faults the loo got blocked whilst simultaneously being NEITHER of our faults as we are not responsible for what goes IN our bowelies and therefore not responsible of what comes OUT our bowelies. I do know one thing however, the smell could have killed an army of Spartans, LOVE ROSA.
-------Interjection from the plunger: (olivia) I had to PLUNGE the loo/hole/cesssssssspit? sessspit?seespit?ceasepit? whatever...whilst rosa enjoyed her leisurely morning run. GOD KNOWS why i agreed to that! LOVE LIVI.
The weekend.... probably still of yorn. (Note to self/selfs: find out what 'yorn' means.)
We, once more, spent the weekend bikeless which really isn't Rosa's fault at all. We hasten to add it's mainly teacher Boris's fault for being such a monumentally scheizer motorcylin' teacher...... let's rewind a little shall we....
It was a boiling hot jungly afternoon.... perhaps around the hour of lunch... although upon consideration we're pretty sure it was around the hour of 4.35pm when 'the lesson' commenced.
The ingredients were as follows:
One Rosa-sized Rosa
One silly assed French croissant under the name Boris
One blue, rather dusty though undoubtedly sexy motorcyle
One TIGHTROPE of a road flanked on either side by a sharp ditch into a rice field
One heaped tablespoon of dirt
Several grams of intrigued on-lookers
Handful of rice field
And here you have a disaster in the making. So yeah.... in Boris's words... "She. Is. Not. Ready."
SO, the motorbikeless weekend. Dans le weekend (we're brushing up on our francais, oh mais oui, le poop de shoop) we chillaxified our bahoottoms off on saturday at school (oh christ almighty, jesus be our witness, WE WERE BORED) before hitchin' a ride into PARTY CENTRAL of mae hong son.
We had shower number one of the week. It was pretty special. Then we headed for a drinkypoos (Olivia had a gin&tonic. Rosa had a martini bianco. Cos that's how we roll) and some non-ricey food for dinner!!!!!!
We manged at the aforementioned restaurant je m'appelle Salween? whence we also watched Aston Villa vs Chelsea. It was like a little slice of footballing heaven... the greeness of the freshly watered turf.....mmmmmmmm delectable.
We also met up with Emmett and Janis/OttoTheFinn at the restaurant and had some nice old bantaaaaar. Towards the end of the eve we also had the delight of some company of the Yorkshire kind (Olivia- oh mommy you wouldn't have been proud of your roots....HE.WAS.INSANE. infact....HE may be the murderer. I wouldnt be surprised.) (Rosa- apparently yorkshire is in England. I mean... what on earth?)
To cut a boring story shorter...a few angered awkward silences later we scarpered... he didn't take kindly to any 'dyslexia: the disease of the middle classes' jokes so subtly interjected into conversation by... us. OOPSSSSIES.
Vendredi? Samedi...... DIMANCHE (of yorn....obviarsely)
We went to a naming ceremony of a baby which was a month old. And NO before you get all annoying and ask: we can't tell you the name. It's a secret. (We have absoluuuuutely no idea what it was. But we think it was a girl.) The baby was a niece of a girl in Class 1. Her name is Angeline.
NEXT we went to a 'national park' saw some shitty animals living in shittier conditions. It was a bit....shitty.
This was rather swiftly followed by a trip to the wateryfall where we swam, had some larks, got bitten. Mainly the 'got bitten' part. BASTARDS. Yeah.... that was about it.....
Check out the photos lovepuppies.
(OH but we did change Boris's facebook language to pirate which wasn't nearly as funny as we'd hoped. Shame that.)
Lots of sweaty, constipated love and riced-up cuddles,
Rosa and Livi
x
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx - those are from olivia. Rosa HATES YOU ALL.)
---------------------------------------------
BUSINESS DECISION - PHOTOS TO GO ON FLICKR.... link to be posted shortly....
Where do we begin.....
A MOIDERER IS ON THE LOOSE IN OUR OWN BACK JUNGLE.
And he be not just ANY moiderer. He is a girl slaying, intestinal eating, police evading kind of a murderer.
We now realise we may have alarmed the elders amongst us (sarah powell hits the big 5-2 this year after all....HI MUMMY... never looked better..)
So we will proceed with our little story telling...
Here we sit, trembling in our flip flops not knowing when, but knowing EXACTLY how, we will meet our bloody, gruesome end. It's rather exciting really.
OTHER NEWS on our long, exhausting agenda... let us once more begin at the beginning (of last week. DER.)
Friday of Yorn (23rd)
OH WHAT A DAY.
We woke up, rats a squeaking, pupils a spitting, rice a waiting. OH HARK! what is this we hear?!
It is the definate and unmistakable sound of a childs scream. We weren't quite sure how to react... turn up the ol' ipod....? assume, with glee, that lessons have been cancelled due to a death amongst pupils...? (that's not funny. people are dying through intestinal ravaging as we type)
MORE SLAUGHTER. but, regrettably, not of children. it was of some pigs. that was nice.... although we didn't even get any fucking pork for dinner. what the....'ell?
OH and on this friday of yornish pig death, we had another cinematic experience akin to the friday of double yorn... this time we got Quantum of Solace. In our humble opinions, it was a decent action movie but we spasmed over the one single shot of London, rain and council estates falling heavy and standing tall and were oh-so proud (we really were...actually...sarcasm aside) to show off our city to the kiddies who seemed LESS that impressed. it was sad.
OH AND BEFORE WE FORGET... Rosa woke up with rrrrrrather iffy movement of the old bowelies (sphinxy wasn't being kind mummy/tommy - rosa) which ended up on my (olive-groves) foot mid plunge.
------Interjection from the culprit: REALLY, it was both of our faults the loo got blocked whilst simultaneously being NEITHER of our faults as we are not responsible for what goes IN our bowelies and therefore not responsible of what comes OUT our bowelies. I do know one thing however, the smell could have killed an army of Spartans, LOVE ROSA.
-------Interjection from the plunger: (olivia) I had to PLUNGE the loo/hole/cesssssssspit? sessspit?seespit?ceasepit? whatever...whilst rosa enjoyed her leisurely morning run. GOD KNOWS why i agreed to that! LOVE LIVI.
The weekend.... probably still of yorn. (Note to self/selfs: find out what 'yorn' means.)
We, once more, spent the weekend bikeless which really isn't Rosa's fault at all. We hasten to add it's mainly teacher Boris's fault for being such a monumentally scheizer motorcylin' teacher...... let's rewind a little shall we....
It was a boiling hot jungly afternoon.... perhaps around the hour of lunch... although upon consideration we're pretty sure it was around the hour of 4.35pm when 'the lesson' commenced.
The ingredients were as follows:
One Rosa-sized Rosa
One silly assed French croissant under the name Boris
One blue, rather dusty though undoubtedly sexy motorcyle
One TIGHTROPE of a road flanked on either side by a sharp ditch into a rice field
One heaped tablespoon of dirt
Several grams of intrigued on-lookers
Handful of rice field
And here you have a disaster in the making. So yeah.... in Boris's words... "She. Is. Not. Ready."
SO, the motorbikeless weekend. Dans le weekend (we're brushing up on our francais, oh mais oui, le poop de shoop) we chillaxified our bahoottoms off on saturday at school (oh christ almighty, jesus be our witness, WE WERE BORED) before hitchin' a ride into PARTY CENTRAL of mae hong son.
We had shower number one of the week. It was pretty special. Then we headed for a drinkypoos (Olivia had a gin&tonic. Rosa had a martini bianco. Cos that's how we roll) and some non-ricey food for dinner!!!!!!
We manged at the aforementioned restaurant je m'appelle Salween? whence we also watched Aston Villa vs Chelsea. It was like a little slice of footballing heaven... the greeness of the freshly watered turf.....mmmmmmmm delectable.
We also met up with Emmett and Janis/OttoTheFinn at the restaurant and had some nice old bantaaaaar. Towards the end of the eve we also had the delight of some company of the Yorkshire kind (Olivia- oh mommy you wouldn't have been proud of your roots....HE.WAS.INSANE. infact....HE may be the murderer. I wouldnt be surprised.) (Rosa- apparently yorkshire is in England. I mean... what on earth?)
To cut a boring story shorter...a few angered awkward silences later we scarpered... he didn't take kindly to any 'dyslexia: the disease of the middle classes' jokes so subtly interjected into conversation by... us. OOPSSSSIES.
Vendredi? Samedi...... DIMANCHE (of yorn....obviarsely)
We went to a naming ceremony of a baby which was a month old. And NO before you get all annoying and ask: we can't tell you the name. It's a secret. (We have absoluuuuutely no idea what it was. But we think it was a girl.) The baby was a niece of a girl in Class 1. Her name is Angeline.
NEXT we went to a 'national park' saw some shitty animals living in shittier conditions. It was a bit....shitty.
This was rather swiftly followed by a trip to the wateryfall where we swam, had some larks, got bitten. Mainly the 'got bitten' part. BASTARDS. Yeah.... that was about it.....
Check out the photos lovepuppies.
(OH but we did change Boris's facebook language to pirate which wasn't nearly as funny as we'd hoped. Shame that.)
Lots of sweaty, constipated love and riced-up cuddles,
Rosa and Livi
x
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx - those are from olivia. Rosa HATES YOU ALL.)
---------------------------------------------
BUSINESS DECISION - PHOTOS TO GO ON FLICKR.... link to be posted shortly....
Friday, 20 February 2009
Joint Effort.
This is just a quickie to tell you all that the last post/s were a joint effort from both ME AND ROSA!
so F.YOU mom and dad!
that is all.
much loving,
Livi
xxx
so F.YOU mom and dad!
that is all.
much loving,
Livi
xxx
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Nai Soi.... middlings?
The week (9th - 13th)
Monday was a big holiday in thighland and there was a local partay in Nai Soi which we attended with the students and other teachers which was lots of fun but also FREAKING scary. Most people there had never seen a white person so we were stared at/photographed/evilled/smiled at.... the works....for the whole night. There were endless stands of food (some of it not so lovely looking) and a stage where it appeared a dancing/singing talent competition was taking place amongst the local youth. Some very odd (and rather revealing) outfit choices were made and there was some very camp male dancers. This was ver ver funny and we had a grand old time!
The week was spent teaching and chillaxing ASIDE from our leeeeetle hospital trip on tuesday. Another to add to Olivia's worldly collection of hospital experiences.... we managed to navigate our way around and everything was swiftly sorted! We then needed to be taken back to school so spent the afternoon with at the local juvenile court where Emmett (aka 'teacher helmet') was teaching for the afternoon. We stayed with him and had a barbeque with the local criminals who have an undying love of karaoke and, seemingly, westlife.
On Friday night Emmett also set up a small cinema in one of the classrooms where the remaining students and us lovely teachers (and Otto the Finn, who is actually a big, galumpfing Swede really called Yannis) watched Slumdog Millionaire and got fed banana pancakes. We dig.
Monday was a big holiday in thighland and there was a local partay in Nai Soi which we attended with the students and other teachers which was lots of fun but also FREAKING scary. Most people there had never seen a white person so we were stared at/photographed/evilled/smiled at.... the works....for the whole night. There were endless stands of food (some of it not so lovely looking) and a stage where it appeared a dancing/singing talent competition was taking place amongst the local youth. Some very odd (and rather revealing) outfit choices were made and there was some very camp male dancers. This was ver ver funny and we had a grand old time!
The week was spent teaching and chillaxing ASIDE from our leeeeetle hospital trip on tuesday. Another to add to Olivia's worldly collection of hospital experiences.... we managed to navigate our way around and everything was swiftly sorted! We then needed to be taken back to school so spent the afternoon with at the local juvenile court where Emmett (aka 'teacher helmet') was teaching for the afternoon. We stayed with him and had a barbeque with the local criminals who have an undying love of karaoke and, seemingly, westlife.
On Friday night Emmett also set up a small cinema in one of the classrooms where the remaining students and us lovely teachers (and Otto the Finn, who is actually a big, galumpfing Swede really called Yannis) watched Slumdog Millionaire and got fed banana pancakes. We dig.
Le Weekend
Hit up some shnooker with Boris, some student and beer. (OH AND OLIVIA fell to the disease of the stomach first). Rosa was very good at aiding her and her vomit at 1am.
We also went swimming (fully clothed) in the waterfall near by which was fun aaaaand we'll show you pictures.
There's lots of other random things.... we haven't even nearly started covering everything. Most notably the ridiculous and endlessly entertaining existence of Teacher Bob. Really.... he says the strangest things.
Hit up some shnooker with Boris, some student and beer. (OH AND OLIVIA fell to the disease of the stomach first). Rosa was very good at aiding her and her vomit at 1am.
We also went swimming (fully clothed) in the waterfall near by which was fun aaaaand we'll show you pictures.
There's lots of other random things.... we haven't even nearly started covering everything. Most notably the ridiculous and endlessly entertaining existence of Teacher Bob. Really.... he says the strangest things.
WE PROMISE TO BLOG MORE REGULARLY FROM NOW ON, but feel you are satisfactorily up to date!!
Lots and lots of love to you all,
Livi and Rosa
xxxxxxxxx
Lots and lots of love to you all,
Livi and Rosa
xxxxxxxxx
ps. ANYTHING EDWARD CULLEN PLEASE JUST... SEND US. GIVE US. ANYTHING. EVERYTHING.!!!!!!!
p.p.s FOODWISE, we get all our food brought up to the teacher table outside our room... verhery convenient... 3 times a day. BUT WE SWEAR TO GOD WE DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE RICE WE CAN TAKE. death by rice. poirot would have an easy time working that out. Although, something that seems to be eating tasty food is the ARSE-RATTING MOSQUITOS which are killing us slowly but surely.
Very slowly.
Very surely.
Words can't cover our hatred.....THE BRUTES.
Very slowly.
Very surely.
Words can't cover our hatred.....THE BRUTES.
Nai Soi beginnings
Thursday 5th February
We started teaching!!! We had two lessons each - conveniently in the afternoon! So we slept.... looooads. They have school 'activities' on thursday afternoons which consists of all the students being dragged out into the 3 o'clock heat and made to do aerobics. Which, of coooourse, we joined in on!! it was insane!! The music was so loud on these massive speakers... I don't think aerobics (you know, given my vast experience) will be the same ever again....
Having thought about it, we alsoA believe this was the day of our very first shower since leaving our North London homes. Which is a bit....smelly. And when we say shower we really mean a bucket of cold water over our heads. a pleasant experience we think you will all agree.
We started teaching!!! We had two lessons each - conveniently in the afternoon! So we slept.... looooads. They have school 'activities' on thursday afternoons which consists of all the students being dragged out into the 3 o'clock heat and made to do aerobics. Which, of coooourse, we joined in on!! it was insane!! The music was so loud on these massive speakers... I don't think aerobics (you know, given my vast experience) will be the same ever again....
Having thought about it, we alsoA believe this was the day of our very first shower since leaving our North London homes. Which is a bit....smelly. And when we say shower we really mean a bucket of cold water over our heads. a pleasant experience we think you will all agree.
The weekend
We met up with Beryl and Steve again and went to a small town just outside of the main refugee camp called Section 19 (ominous no?) where we all had a little group of students to talk to. Oivia had a great time chatting to kids who could speak some English. I had a somewhat different and more depressing experience with about 10 boys none who spoke a word. It was horrible. We also decided that normal rice is pointless, sticky rice is the only way to go!!! We had to stand and pose with students for about a hundred billion photos-us both being pale with fair hair meant we were a popular attraction and they asked us lots of questions about Engerland and couldn't grasp the concept of snow.... which only rubbed it in that we'd missed the best snow EVER. Ugh.
In other news, a boy from school took me (rosalie) to aerobics in the local town (Nai Soi) which was also bizarre and as we walked there he talked about his life (he's from burma and lost both his parents when he was a baby) and the class was in an alley and the teacher got two mahoosive speakers (sarah powell height i.e. 5ft2 AND A HALF) and pumped thai dance music. I have now come to the painful conclusion that they play a grand total of TWO songs on repeat. Every sodding time. But it's fun to see the local women out in their t-shirts and cycling shorts. We also sat around and chatted with the students into the night - one of them sung us burmese songs on his guitar and they were really beautiful (though some do sound a tad like he's dying a slow and painful death).
We met up with Beryl and Steve again and went to a small town just outside of the main refugee camp called Section 19 (ominous no?) where we all had a little group of students to talk to. Oivia had a great time chatting to kids who could speak some English. I had a somewhat different and more depressing experience with about 10 boys none who spoke a word. It was horrible. We also decided that normal rice is pointless, sticky rice is the only way to go!!! We had to stand and pose with students for about a hundred billion photos-us both being pale with fair hair meant we were a popular attraction and they asked us lots of questions about Engerland and couldn't grasp the concept of snow.... which only rubbed it in that we'd missed the best snow EVER. Ugh.
In other news, a boy from school took me (rosalie) to aerobics in the local town (Nai Soi) which was also bizarre and as we walked there he talked about his life (he's from burma and lost both his parents when he was a baby) and the class was in an alley and the teacher got two mahoosive speakers (sarah powell height i.e. 5ft2 AND A HALF) and pumped thai dance music. I have now come to the painful conclusion that they play a grand total of TWO songs on repeat. Every sodding time. But it's fun to see the local women out in their t-shirts and cycling shorts. We also sat around and chatted with the students into the night - one of them sung us burmese songs on his guitar and they were really beautiful (though some do sound a tad like he's dying a slow and painful death).
Olive (who sits beside me as I type for she is an delinquent) adopted a hideous little dog, now called Whiskey (it's not hideous it's just flea-ridden - olive). Teacher Bar Bar named him (Boris) as there was whiskey being drunk.
OH and I (being rosa) did my bestest to watch the spurs vs arsenal game via internet streaming. I got the broad picture and thought the Lilywhites did themselves proud, if only Pav, if only. I also celebrated the return of the mighty Keano. It was SPECIAL. I'm not sure olivia was quite as moved.
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