Wednesday, 11 March 2009

A tad fragile.....

OH THE NEGLECT the blog has experienced. This sounds like we care. We don't.... maybe we should..... yet.... we don't. Such is the cruel life of Burmese refugees.
So, we hear you think, what have these crazy ladies been up to in the past.... 2 weeks??? 2 weeks and a day????
WELL FOLKS, we didn't get murdered. In fact, no one else got murdered and de-intestined. As far as we know. And we would know. We're the eyes and ears of this jungle.

A long, long time ago in a land far far away (and much hotter than where you are)...
HOKAI, so..... in a time long, long ago (on a weekend before the 3rd of March. the one closest to then. not just ANY old weekend before the 3rd of March)
SO, a long long time ago, we went into Mae Hong Son for the weekend. Standardly.
We wandered, we meandered, we trawled, we traipsed and generally walked everywhere very, very slowly. BUT we ate. OH BOY did we eat.
After an apple overload, we hit up the 7/11 (really a 24/7... which is a shop. it has airconditioning and pepsi-max. lots and lots of wonderous pepsi max)
Here we decided to be a lil' adventurous with our dinner and proceeded to purchase several vanilla yoghurts and several packets of cereal (consisting offfff Corn Flakes, Frosties and Choco Crisps). Our plan being to mix said ingredients in a location of our chosing. Which we did. Although our location was not really one fit for us queens and we ended up munching next to some rabid dogs on a bench by a lake. As if we didn't get enough odd looks before.....

Thehehehehen, the following dia. It be sunday, we did..... bugger all really. That we can remember of. Probably stole some things. Shot some people. The norm.
ALTHOUGH we did go to Salween (you know, the restaurant. The one with the blind dog and the bread????) and had our baked sweet patatas that we had been yearning for. A treat followed by... probably not so much a treat as a punishment... the Carling Cup Final. Oh yes people. We followed the mighty Spurs as they went to Wembley (wemberleyyyyy - wemberleyyyyyyy - we're the mighty tottenhamhotspur and we're going to wemberleyyyyy). No input from Ed required or Rosa (Heyyyyy) will proceed to make sure Olivia finds a really amazingly fit and buff Australian surfer. YA GET ME.
After much knee biting and muttered swear words, we headed back to our crib (yee blad). It was 1.00am. WAHEY past our bedtime.

A long, long time ago that followed the last one. So a slightly less long, long time ago...

Another week at school.
Taught some lessons. Stole some things. Shot some people. Had a power cut for a few days, the main result of which was that we went to bed horrifically early....
HOWEVER, we do feel we should inform you of some of our pupils. They all hold a special place in our hearts.... just some more than others. Ain't ya ever heard of teachers pets?

So. Let us begin. We're not sure where to begin. For these are love stories so rare.
But we will try, in the crudest way possible.

Best friend (sometimes a bit more): Beh Reh
Lover: Bosco (Olive), Similai (Rosa)
Husband and father of children: Leudu.

And we decided La Aung can be our neighbour. Who we will bake with. And will fix things for us. Possibly do the shopping every now and then and probably cut our hair. Obviously.

These revelations of the hearts have put somewhat of a strain on our "professional" approach to teaching and we can think of no better way to illustrate this than with a short tale of... humiliation and love.... the two oft seem to go hand in hand wouldn't you agreeeee...

Bosco was in Camp at hospital. He is short by the way. VEHERY short. But, to be fair, TOTALLY RIPPED. And very cool. But so's Similai. And he's taller. And they both spit very loudly.... it's the "done thing".. this fact makes it no less disgusting however.
But ANYWAY, Bosco jumped off a bike and so was in hospital whereupon when Livi was teaching her Class 2 lesson, she was asked "Teacher, do you miss Bosco?". The answer was yes. But they are SO onto her. Which is not altogether that suprising.... given the aforementioned teachers behaviour, LET'S BE HONEST.

So that week of a long, long time ago which also happened to be last week, just flew by in a blur of candles and classroom games.... which is ver VER VER sad as our play of love, courage and bravery approaches it's final act.....

Last weekend
We walked up a mountain with Naw-Naw. We love him. But he doesn't make the cut for our love story.... more of a Quasi-Modo. We want more of a King Tritan.
It was very steep. It was very hot. And we found it suprising how one never considers the "going down" part which, incidentally, usually turns out to be the hardest part. We feared certain death. Thankfully certain death feared us more.
Next we jetted ourselves into Mae to the Hong to the Son whereupon we recieved OUR PARCELS!!!! It was like christmas only better. All jokes aside, best day of our lives (except for all the other days which were better.)
We inhaled our sweets. This made us feel very ill and very fat. We didn't care.
Then it was time for......drum roll please.... ROSA'S BI-WEEKLY SHOWER!!!!
(Olivia- which is FUCKING gross considering she goes for runs EVERY MORNING. plus a bout of aerobics AND....its hot here. AND we share a bed. I think i have said enough.)
(Rosa - Now is not a time to be precious. Or, seemingly, clean.)
And so we trotted off to Janis's (aka Otto) birthday parrrrrrrrrrrty which was just of the hook. There was a harmonica.
(and also the Sunderland vs Spurs game) Returneth we to school after said festivities with a VERY drunken Boris. We took advantage of his state by drawing all over his face. Main focus on the eyebrows. We figured this would be the hardest to remove when said drunkeness had worn off. We WILL BE VICTORIOUS. Like Queen Victoria. She hated the French too. Though don't quote us. DrunkBoris also decided it would be tres amusant to scare the bejeebies out of us by sneaking into our room in the dead of night which inspired a lot of screaming and the near collapse of our trusted mosquito net.
Once more, we declare, WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS. And plans for a most terrifying revenge are already in motion (in our heads. Suggestions appreciated. Dead snakes already thought of.)

So Sunday. The day of rest. But since when have we done things by the book??
Good news and bad news. Teacher Boris left (hooray) and took his oranges (boo). Very mean spirited.
We had a littttttttle mishap involving our motorcyle. But we are both fine. We repeat parents: we are both fine.
Except for the HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE gash up olive's leg and rosa's inability to sit down. The biggest problem is the sheer humiliation we experienced upon our return to school. All the students had heard and proceeded to mimic our falling action (rosa's wasn't exactly the most graceful nor the most ladylike). A mocking that continues and is set to continue until we wave farewell to the little shits. Emmett also got the runs that day. Ha.

So ladies, gentlemen and those who are still deciding, what is happening at the momento.
Well this week is revision week as exams are next week. Exams are followed by graduation on the 22nd which is the end of school!!!! We're going to be so so sad to leave everyone so we're trying not to think about that too much at present and spend as much time with everyone as possible. Then WHO KNOWS what the future holds...
actually, we do. So there.
Our previous plans to teach Huay Pu Keng for a month have some what afllen through due to the pupils COMPLETE lack of wanting to be taught. and the fact that it's their summer holidays. So we shall frequent their little village for a week of fun, games, no electricity, no food, certain death and sweltering heat. Oh, and mosquitos. Lots and lots of them.

Hope all's well in Blighty.... could we PERLEASE have some more comments?
At least pretend you love us.
(note to Rosa's family - I will excuse you from comment leaving if you are to start up my allowance again. Only then would any lack of commenting be accepted.)

LOTS OF still constipqted love:::::: oh rubbish ive done so,ething to this co,piuter:::::: OH NQQQQQQQQQOOOO/
i szeqr i q, typing this qll correctly::::::::



  1. wow, that was a momentus story of epic proportions...
    i very much enjoyed.

  2. lily is going to kill me, but rosa you are way more entertaining than her (+olivia)

  3. i love you silly women!
    sounds like you are having so much fun. also again, when reading your blog i start LOLing in really inappropriate places.
    livs, i hope to speak to you l8rz.

  4. graduation day=my birthday
    forget and you die.
    miss you lots!!

  5. "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
    — Groucho Marx

  6. you guys are very funny i have laughed out loud lots this morning and its all down to this blog. i miss you sooo much!!!!!!!!!!!! love ellah